After the aforementioned night of zero sleep, I woke up, showered, grabbed a redbull, and said my last goodbyes to the upstairs girls. I will probably never see them again. It is hard to believe that these faces I have grown so accustomed to seeing every day will soon be but a faint memory.
So at about 830 I finally got my stuff downstairs and to the taxi. The 30minute ride to the airport was just enough to get really worked up and seriously down about leaving. At the airport, everything went rather well. Both of my bags were about .5kilos under the weight limit, which was a relief because I knew if one was over the other would be too, and I would have to start chucking stuff. But, crisis averted.
On the plane, I slept not a wink, again. Meaning I watched movies and listened to music for 9 hours straight, just waiting to fall asleep. Didn’t happen.
Now I am sitting in Chicago, waiting for my 4 hour (ridiculous, right) layover to end. Maybe I could try to sleep…ha.
Coming into denver was a little scary, as I have never landed in snow before. I know I am just not used to it, but when I saw a fleet of fire trucks waiting at the end of the runway, it did not make me feel much better. It was the start of a real storm, and our flight was delayed (I guess we were lucky it wasnt canceled all together) so we could de-ice the plane. I did manage to sleep on this final leg of the trip, as it had been nearly 36 hours since I last slept.
Landing in Ontario was uneventful, over an hour late, and surreal in every way. I was quickly overcome with joy and longing when we pulled into the San Bernardino In-n-Out. All in all, it is good to be back.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Tuesday, Dec. 20th. day 114
D-day. Well, sort of. More like P/C day (and I don’t mean politically correct, there was nothing p-c about today). So much packing, so much cleaning. The whole freaking day. Well, other than a brief moment when I went to Albert Heijn to buy a crap-ton of stroopwafels from friends and myself. Somehow, all of the delft-blue tins were sold out! Someone had beat us to it! So I grabbed five of the little bags and made my way to the cashier. As I set the mass of deliciousness on the conveyer belt, I noticed they all expired like the first week of January, so it was already set up to be a major fail. To top it off, when I went to pay with my 50euro bill, the cashier looked up at me with the worlds most disgusted glare, as if to say “are you freaking kidding me? You think I am going to let you pay with this?!” So I replied with a friendly, “forget it buddy”, and walked out empty-handed.
After that little incident, the rest of my day consisted of more packing, interrupted by the periodic visit of a friend to say goodbye. Pretty much not ready to go.
I tried to get to bed early so I could be well rested for the trip, but it totally backfired. I was asleep by 10pm, and woke up at 2am when my upstairs neighbors came in (they are always pretty loud). After that I couldn’t sleep at all. I was literally up all night. So when my alarm went off at 730 am, I just sat up and looked at it in disbelief. How did this happen?!
After that little incident, the rest of my day consisted of more packing, interrupted by the periodic visit of a friend to say goodbye. Pretty much not ready to go.
I tried to get to bed early so I could be well rested for the trip, but it totally backfired. I was asleep by 10pm, and woke up at 2am when my upstairs neighbors came in (they are always pretty loud). After that I couldn’t sleep at all. I was literally up all night. So when my alarm went off at 730 am, I just sat up and looked at it in disbelief. How did this happen?!
Monday, Dec. 19th. Day 113
What a day, what a night. I want to remember Amsterdam as last night (meaning Monday night).
Woke up at about 11, worked on my violin piece (for some reason I still think I am going to finish it before I leave, despite the fact that I have not even started writing the climax and ending), did a little bit more cleaning and packing, and then went to school. It was the day of our final performance for our live electronics ensemble. I think the performance went really well, and it was quite possibly the most fun I have had performing live in a long, long time. Total freedom, total expression, no wrong notes. I have no idea if it was any fun or pleasurable to listen to, but it sure was fun to perform. The KMT boys did a little set as well, and that was really nice. They can do some cool stuff with electronics, that much is certain. Jos talked to me personally about coming back to do the masters' in electronic music. It is a little early to tell, but that seams like it might be a good option, however the program will be a total joke. It wont even fully exist until next year, for the first time, and who knows how serious it will be. But it will get me back to Amsterdam, so it might be worth it.
Anyway, after the performance I came back to my room to grab some dinner before heading out! During that time here dad called me and I called mom. Dad called to ask me if I wanted a Winchester '94 for Christmas, but it was too late, HE ALREADY GOT IT FOR ME! So much win. 1970 though, so it is a total mystery what we have, but he said it looks like it is in good condition, has had less than a box of shells through it. That could mean the guy got 5 shells in and decided it was a piece of junk, haha. We'll see, can't turn down a free gun though haha!
Alright, so at about 930 we head out to Skek, a cool little bar in the center. There were actually a lot of people there, Alexas really knows how to rally the troops for a good time. So we closed this bar, and had to go to another one. I really wish I could remember the name of the second one, it was a pretty tight place. I had been there once before with Kristin's friend when we crashed a birthday party, buurbrouw! Thats what its called (but probably not how its spelled). Anywhere, there was a live dj, some real creepers, and smoking allowed indoors. A total mess, but so Amsterdam. This is a locals-only hang, and you could tell.
After that, a friend and I went to get our last patats. Unfortunately Manakin Pis was closed, so we went to the one next to that on Damrak. We planned on going to Anne Frank the next morning, but that didnt happen (staying out till 3am doesn’t lead to waking up at 8am, go figure). So...yea I hate goodbyes!
Woke up at about 11, worked on my violin piece (for some reason I still think I am going to finish it before I leave, despite the fact that I have not even started writing the climax and ending), did a little bit more cleaning and packing, and then went to school. It was the day of our final performance for our live electronics ensemble. I think the performance went really well, and it was quite possibly the most fun I have had performing live in a long, long time. Total freedom, total expression, no wrong notes. I have no idea if it was any fun or pleasurable to listen to, but it sure was fun to perform. The KMT boys did a little set as well, and that was really nice. They can do some cool stuff with electronics, that much is certain. Jos talked to me personally about coming back to do the masters' in electronic music. It is a little early to tell, but that seams like it might be a good option, however the program will be a total joke. It wont even fully exist until next year, for the first time, and who knows how serious it will be. But it will get me back to Amsterdam, so it might be worth it.
Anyway, after the performance I came back to my room to grab some dinner before heading out! During that time here dad called me and I called mom. Dad called to ask me if I wanted a Winchester '94 for Christmas, but it was too late, HE ALREADY GOT IT FOR ME! So much win. 1970 though, so it is a total mystery what we have, but he said it looks like it is in good condition, has had less than a box of shells through it. That could mean the guy got 5 shells in and decided it was a piece of junk, haha. We'll see, can't turn down a free gun though haha!
Alright, so at about 930 we head out to Skek, a cool little bar in the center. There were actually a lot of people there, Alexas really knows how to rally the troops for a good time. So we closed this bar, and had to go to another one. I really wish I could remember the name of the second one, it was a pretty tight place. I had been there once before with Kristin's friend when we crashed a birthday party, buurbrouw! Thats what its called (but probably not how its spelled). Anywhere, there was a live dj, some real creepers, and smoking allowed indoors. A total mess, but so Amsterdam. This is a locals-only hang, and you could tell.
After that, a friend and I went to get our last patats. Unfortunately Manakin Pis was closed, so we went to the one next to that on Damrak. We planned on going to Anne Frank the next morning, but that didnt happen (staying out till 3am doesn’t lead to waking up at 8am, go figure). So...yea I hate goodbyes!
Sun, December 18th. Day 112
Didn’t really do much today other than start packing and cleaning the room. It was very surreal to be doing this. I know everyone said it would be over before I knew it, but it really was the fastest four months of my life. I guess that is how I know I had a great time. Anyway, now I am all packed an am sitting in a barren room with nothing to do. Well not totally nothing. I did write a little bit more on my piece, with the blind hope that I will be able to finish it in time to deliver before I leave.
A little later, a few of us gathered at a friend’s (at Funenpark) to hang out one last time (this particular girl was leaving the next day, so this really was the first actual goodbye I had to make). It was fun, but slightly depressing. I will, in all probability never see most, if not all of these people again. I really didn’t think that would bother me, especially after feeling somewhat alienated by my friends at home (at noone’s fault, I am far away, and they made no attempt to contact me or anything, but whatever). I guess all in all, I am starting to realize that people really matter to me. I know it sounds silly, like “no duh man”, but I really thought otherwise most of my life until now. This idea of having meaningful connections to people is completely foreign, or at least thriving on these relationships. I always kind of thought that relationships with people were for the weak, who were not comfortable enough with themselves to be alone. That society really diluted one’s view of self and life. It all sounds so crazy in hindsight, but that was really how I thought, and to a certain degree still think. I think it would be interesting to find out what a qualified psychotherapist says about all this, if there was some deep-down traumatizing event in my childhood that has lead me to distrust people to such a degree that I find relationships a crutch. Who knows. For now, I think I am on the right path, at least admitting that there is something to this people-thing.
A little later, a few of us gathered at a friend’s (at Funenpark) to hang out one last time (this particular girl was leaving the next day, so this really was the first actual goodbye I had to make). It was fun, but slightly depressing. I will, in all probability never see most, if not all of these people again. I really didn’t think that would bother me, especially after feeling somewhat alienated by my friends at home (at noone’s fault, I am far away, and they made no attempt to contact me or anything, but whatever). I guess all in all, I am starting to realize that people really matter to me. I know it sounds silly, like “no duh man”, but I really thought otherwise most of my life until now. This idea of having meaningful connections to people is completely foreign, or at least thriving on these relationships. I always kind of thought that relationships with people were for the weak, who were not comfortable enough with themselves to be alone. That society really diluted one’s view of self and life. It all sounds so crazy in hindsight, but that was really how I thought, and to a certain degree still think. I think it would be interesting to find out what a qualified psychotherapist says about all this, if there was some deep-down traumatizing event in my childhood that has lead me to distrust people to such a degree that I find relationships a crutch. Who knows. For now, I think I am on the right path, at least admitting that there is something to this people-thing.
Saturday, Dec. 17th. Day 111.
What an interesting day, again. As I am sure you will note by my last few entries, today was my lesson with Louis Andriessen, finally. I was very very nervous, I could hardly speak. Somehow I managed to pull myself together enough to get my scores printed, cd made, and ass to his house. Quite a nice house it was, despite all of the rather unfriendly steep stairs that I am coming to hate here in the Netherlands. Anyway, the first thing I did inside was receive some tea, as it was "tea time" in the Andriessen house. However, this tea had a little something extra. Apparently, according to the great Andriessen, a little dash of Disaronno is good for the heart on cold weather days or something like that. I knew it was going to be a good lesson when he said that. Only true masters drink hard liquor at 3pm, haha.
Ok anyway, we sat down and chatted for a bit about some jazz arranger that I should know, but only because Louis thought I said I play jazz trumpet, not jazz drumset. After correcting that (and he insisting that it was still worth-while to check out) the moment of truth arrived: "let me see your work". First we looked at Mondrianism, which was a tad awkward since Louis's own De Stijl was based on a text about Mondrian. Anyway, he liked it, I think (I still haven’t listened to the tape of the lesson, it was all such a haze in person). He said I mirrored Mondrian's style by leaving out certain things, which was a nice comment. Also he liked my handling of the low left hand material, saying so many composers somehow forget there is bass or something.
Then we listened to VII. It was quite painful, actually, to play that recording. In fact, that is what we discussed most about that piece. He really thought it was tragic how awful the performance was, and I think I agree. I guess having dedicated musicians that take the performance of new music seriously is something I have never had, so I didn't know it was missing. But it is a very important part music, I mean it is the realization of my mere dots on a page. I think he phrased it as having a musician work at your music enough to "steal it away from you, and make it theirs". While in English I am not sure anyone would have said that, it is a very nice way of putting it. "Performer, I want you to steal this music from me. Make it yours, but you have to take it from me first. Make some artistic decisions that make it your own. Invest in it." Nice nice nice.
Other than the performance, we talked about the painfully slow tempo, and how that in and of itself can create difficulties for practice and rehearsal, as well as conducting. Also rhythmically: to focus on rhythmic abnormality to that degree but so slow makes everything sound the same (which may be a good argument for its coherence, Idk haha). All in all, very practical things. I guess I heard that about Andriessen, that he isn't some composer dreamer with his head in the clouds, he really gets down and makes things work on a practical level. I like that.
And lastly was Linear Sketch, my most recent piano piece. I think I made a mistake by introducing it is a completed sketch (as opposed to an actual composition) that I had no interest in reviving. Anyway, he was quick to say that it was not a good practice to get into, throwing away pieces I was unhappy with or not finishing something I had started. I can see where he was going, again from a very practical stand-point. However, I am not sure if I will go back and make corrections, other than writing it in q= 80. I think I had a fun idea with making the tempo q=160, making the performer really think of a double tempo while performing syncopated half-rhythms. But anyway, he said I had some interesting ideas, which is all I could really ask for at this point, and from His perspective.
I think that is about it, other than the casual conversation around the table. He liked the wine, I mean he didn't open it, but he liked it. He also gave me a DVD of his recent piece Anais Nin, and signed it at my request (I am not sure if I understood him correctly, but I think he said he had never autographed anything before, or maybe that he had never signed this DVD before, I am not sure). He also said I could email his assistant for a full professional recording of his recent opera La Comedia, which won the Grawemeyer award.
Overall, I think I was most shocked at how utterly normal he was. I talked myself into a fit getting ready for this lesson, and it turns out he is more like a Dutch grandpa than a supernatural art-making machine. In fact, he did not resemble a crazy artist that writes this amazingly complex art music at all. I am kind of relieved by that actually, thinking of my own possibilities. All of my peers seem to be slightly crazy, or at least they would like to be viewed that way. But it seems the "older" professionals, and more mature teachers, are very practical about their approach to music. For Andriessen, at least in our lesson, he didn't speak much on "art", "expression", or any sort of cliche artistic nonsense. He treated it like he was making a wooden doll or something, something he had done many times, and I wanted to do. I could very well do it very differently from him, but he had some experiences he though would be helpful to share to make my own dolls better. I think that is a good analogy, maybe not. I am not sure. I guess I am back to being unsure about everything now because of this lesson, as I feared haha.
Ok, after the lesson, I went to a friends place for dinner. He made us some awesome home-made pasta with beet sauce (or something like that).. Anyway, it was fun. One last get together before we leave (even though we are having another one tonight, haha).
Once I came home, it must have been no later than 1130, I was just getting ready for bed, and I hear a knock on the door. It was my other roommate from Iran. He wanted to offer me some of his food, probably because I made a comment when coming in that it smelled good. We had a very nice, very long chat about Amsterdam, life, culture, marriage, school, work, money, geo-politics, and just about everything else you could imagine. I found it interesting that he regretting getting married, at least when he did, that he was very grateful for what the US did in Iraq and Afghanistan, and how it made Iran a safer and happier place. I would have thought that would be the opposite, and I find it ironic that making Iran happy was probably the last thing we actually wanted to accomplish while over there. Getting away from the political side, he liked my optimism about the future, and said that based on how I speak and what I post on facebook (very good metrics by which to measure a person, right?) that I really have a knack for econ and I should give that a try. I have nothing to lose, and I will be kicking myself all the way if I dont try, and I could very well spend the rest of my life learning. I appreciate the thought and the confidence, but it just is not that easy. And I really am trying to not be melodramatic about it, because I know I have the tendency to be melodramatic, but money, sunk cost, my apartment, the job market, etc. I still need to do some investigating, so there is till some time to decide these things, but being in limbo kind of bothers me. Lastly, we talked about Iran. He politely said that I am welcome to visit his country and that he would be happy to show me around. We both thought it would be good for more Americans to really see what it is like in person rather than what CNN says, but I am not sure if I am that person, at least not yet.
Ok anyway, we sat down and chatted for a bit about some jazz arranger that I should know, but only because Louis thought I said I play jazz trumpet, not jazz drumset. After correcting that (and he insisting that it was still worth-while to check out) the moment of truth arrived: "let me see your work". First we looked at Mondrianism, which was a tad awkward since Louis's own De Stijl was based on a text about Mondrian. Anyway, he liked it, I think (I still haven’t listened to the tape of the lesson, it was all such a haze in person). He said I mirrored Mondrian's style by leaving out certain things, which was a nice comment. Also he liked my handling of the low left hand material, saying so many composers somehow forget there is bass or something.
Then we listened to VII. It was quite painful, actually, to play that recording. In fact, that is what we discussed most about that piece. He really thought it was tragic how awful the performance was, and I think I agree. I guess having dedicated musicians that take the performance of new music seriously is something I have never had, so I didn't know it was missing. But it is a very important part music, I mean it is the realization of my mere dots on a page. I think he phrased it as having a musician work at your music enough to "steal it away from you, and make it theirs". While in English I am not sure anyone would have said that, it is a very nice way of putting it. "Performer, I want you to steal this music from me. Make it yours, but you have to take it from me first. Make some artistic decisions that make it your own. Invest in it." Nice nice nice.
Other than the performance, we talked about the painfully slow tempo, and how that in and of itself can create difficulties for practice and rehearsal, as well as conducting. Also rhythmically: to focus on rhythmic abnormality to that degree but so slow makes everything sound the same (which may be a good argument for its coherence, Idk haha). All in all, very practical things. I guess I heard that about Andriessen, that he isn't some composer dreamer with his head in the clouds, he really gets down and makes things work on a practical level. I like that.
And lastly was Linear Sketch, my most recent piano piece. I think I made a mistake by introducing it is a completed sketch (as opposed to an actual composition) that I had no interest in reviving. Anyway, he was quick to say that it was not a good practice to get into, throwing away pieces I was unhappy with or not finishing something I had started. I can see where he was going, again from a very practical stand-point. However, I am not sure if I will go back and make corrections, other than writing it in q= 80. I think I had a fun idea with making the tempo q=160, making the performer really think of a double tempo while performing syncopated half-rhythms. But anyway, he said I had some interesting ideas, which is all I could really ask for at this point, and from His perspective.
I think that is about it, other than the casual conversation around the table. He liked the wine, I mean he didn't open it, but he liked it. He also gave me a DVD of his recent piece Anais Nin, and signed it at my request (I am not sure if I understood him correctly, but I think he said he had never autographed anything before, or maybe that he had never signed this DVD before, I am not sure). He also said I could email his assistant for a full professional recording of his recent opera La Comedia, which won the Grawemeyer award.
Overall, I think I was most shocked at how utterly normal he was. I talked myself into a fit getting ready for this lesson, and it turns out he is more like a Dutch grandpa than a supernatural art-making machine. In fact, he did not resemble a crazy artist that writes this amazingly complex art music at all. I am kind of relieved by that actually, thinking of my own possibilities. All of my peers seem to be slightly crazy, or at least they would like to be viewed that way. But it seems the "older" professionals, and more mature teachers, are very practical about their approach to music. For Andriessen, at least in our lesson, he didn't speak much on "art", "expression", or any sort of cliche artistic nonsense. He treated it like he was making a wooden doll or something, something he had done many times, and I wanted to do. I could very well do it very differently from him, but he had some experiences he though would be helpful to share to make my own dolls better. I think that is a good analogy, maybe not. I am not sure. I guess I am back to being unsure about everything now because of this lesson, as I feared haha.
Ok, after the lesson, I went to a friends place for dinner. He made us some awesome home-made pasta with beet sauce (or something like that).. Anyway, it was fun. One last get together before we leave (even though we are having another one tonight, haha).
Once I came home, it must have been no later than 1130, I was just getting ready for bed, and I hear a knock on the door. It was my other roommate from Iran. He wanted to offer me some of his food, probably because I made a comment when coming in that it smelled good. We had a very nice, very long chat about Amsterdam, life, culture, marriage, school, work, money, geo-politics, and just about everything else you could imagine. I found it interesting that he regretting getting married, at least when he did, that he was very grateful for what the US did in Iraq and Afghanistan, and how it made Iran a safer and happier place. I would have thought that would be the opposite, and I find it ironic that making Iran happy was probably the last thing we actually wanted to accomplish while over there. Getting away from the political side, he liked my optimism about the future, and said that based on how I speak and what I post on facebook (very good metrics by which to measure a person, right?) that I really have a knack for econ and I should give that a try. I have nothing to lose, and I will be kicking myself all the way if I dont try, and I could very well spend the rest of my life learning. I appreciate the thought and the confidence, but it just is not that easy. And I really am trying to not be melodramatic about it, because I know I have the tendency to be melodramatic, but money, sunk cost, my apartment, the job market, etc. I still need to do some investigating, so there is till some time to decide these things, but being in limbo kind of bothers me. Lastly, we talked about Iran. He politely said that I am welcome to visit his country and that he would be happy to show me around. We both thought it would be good for more Americans to really see what it is like in person rather than what CNN says, but I am not sure if I am that person, at least not yet.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Friday, December 16th. Day 110
Today was an interesting day indeed.
It started with me coming outside to find my bike tire flat, mysteriously. I am not blaming anyone, of course, because if I were to think I was the victim of vandalism, that would only be out of sheer paranoia. But I did happen to chew a certain someone out for smoking weed in our room again, so maybe he was pissed and wanted to take revenge? Idk, but either way I didn't have time to fuss with it so I simply walked to school on my still kind of broken foot. Not fun.
Upon arriving at school, I needed to print some scores for my lesson with Fabio Nieder. Of course, after 4 attempts, the printer didnt work. Luckily, the help-desk people printed it for me, but it still took far too long. Even after all of this, Fabio was more than half an hour late on his lessons. When I finally got inside, all went very well. He is a fantastic teacher, and I really like how passionate he is when explaining things. He also instilled in me the need for "character" in my music; thinking about shape, contour, dynamics, articulation, sound, and timbre as much as pitches and rhythms. I thought I did that already, but he instructed me to focus on it intently, and I think my music will be more successful because of it. However, I thought I was recording the lesson, since I knew he would have all kinds of great things to say, but for some God-awful reason my phone decided it didn't want to record. Barry fail number 4? haha
Then I had live electronics rehearsal, which was whatever. Haha, you know how it is with that class. After class I came back home to fix my bike and get ready to go to my Dutch friend-girl’s house for dinner before our concert. The tire held air so I just figured my valve stem was lose or something. This lady’s house is quite cute, and exactly what I would expect in a typical Amsterdam house actually: very very steep stairs, low ceilings, many levels, above an Indian restaurant, all of that. Her parents are so nice and hospitable; I had a great time, even when we started talking about economics, gun violence, and politics. I think I did a great job of holding my tongue, or at least not putting my foot directly in my mouth, haha.
The concert was fun as well, all "modern" (within the last 30 years) Dutch music. I should probably write down the composers' names because otherwise I will never remember them, but I am too lazy to get up and look for the program, so I will put it on the blog tomorrow, haha.
After the concert we met Tristian, Duri, and some other CvA composer (so bad with names), and went to Litzeplien to hang. We chatted for a little bit, but my friend insisted on going home before midnight. When we got back to her house, at the very ideal setting on the canal out her front door, she told me that she really liked me...as a friend (how many times have you heard that crock?). She said she felt "too comfortable around me". Too comfortable to be more than friends? I feel like this isn't the first time this has happened, even though she is the first one to articulate it in this way. Maybe I am too comforting, too polite. Do I need to be more aggressive? More go-get-em? I dont freaking know. I kept pestering her that I may never see her again, and that we should try and hang out once more before I leave, but that was all before she said this. Not that I don't want to see her again, it is just not as awesome, haha. I really don't know why this keeps happening to me. Maybe I am too nice...haha I never ever thought I would be saying that. Oh. Freaking. Well.
It started with me coming outside to find my bike tire flat, mysteriously. I am not blaming anyone, of course, because if I were to think I was the victim of vandalism, that would only be out of sheer paranoia. But I did happen to chew a certain someone out for smoking weed in our room again, so maybe he was pissed and wanted to take revenge? Idk, but either way I didn't have time to fuss with it so I simply walked to school on my still kind of broken foot. Not fun.
Upon arriving at school, I needed to print some scores for my lesson with Fabio Nieder. Of course, after 4 attempts, the printer didnt work. Luckily, the help-desk people printed it for me, but it still took far too long. Even after all of this, Fabio was more than half an hour late on his lessons. When I finally got inside, all went very well. He is a fantastic teacher, and I really like how passionate he is when explaining things. He also instilled in me the need for "character" in my music; thinking about shape, contour, dynamics, articulation, sound, and timbre as much as pitches and rhythms. I thought I did that already, but he instructed me to focus on it intently, and I think my music will be more successful because of it. However, I thought I was recording the lesson, since I knew he would have all kinds of great things to say, but for some God-awful reason my phone decided it didn't want to record. Barry fail number 4? haha
Then I had live electronics rehearsal, which was whatever. Haha, you know how it is with that class. After class I came back home to fix my bike and get ready to go to my Dutch friend-girl’s house for dinner before our concert. The tire held air so I just figured my valve stem was lose or something. This lady’s house is quite cute, and exactly what I would expect in a typical Amsterdam house actually: very very steep stairs, low ceilings, many levels, above an Indian restaurant, all of that. Her parents are so nice and hospitable; I had a great time, even when we started talking about economics, gun violence, and politics. I think I did a great job of holding my tongue, or at least not putting my foot directly in my mouth, haha.
The concert was fun as well, all "modern" (within the last 30 years) Dutch music. I should probably write down the composers' names because otherwise I will never remember them, but I am too lazy to get up and look for the program, so I will put it on the blog tomorrow, haha.
After the concert we met Tristian, Duri, and some other CvA composer (so bad with names), and went to Litzeplien to hang. We chatted for a little bit, but my friend insisted on going home before midnight. When we got back to her house, at the very ideal setting on the canal out her front door, she told me that she really liked me...as a friend (how many times have you heard that crock?). She said she felt "too comfortable around me". Too comfortable to be more than friends? I feel like this isn't the first time this has happened, even though she is the first one to articulate it in this way. Maybe I am too comforting, too polite. Do I need to be more aggressive? More go-get-em? I dont freaking know. I kept pestering her that I may never see her again, and that we should try and hang out once more before I leave, but that was all before she said this. Not that I don't want to see her again, it is just not as awesome, haha. I really don't know why this keeps happening to me. Maybe I am too nice...haha I never ever thought I would be saying that. Oh. Freaking. Well.
Friday, December 16th. Day 110
Today was an interesting day indeed.
It started with me coming outside to find my bike tire flat, mysteriously. I am not blaming anyone, of course, because if I were to think I was the victim of vandalism, that would only be out of sheer paranoia. But I did happen to chew a certain someone out for smoking weed in our room again, so maybe he was pissed and wanted to take revenge? Idk, but either way I didn't have time to fuss with it so I simply walked to school on my still kind of broken foot. Not fun.
Upon arriving at school, I needed to print some scores for my lesson with Fabio Nieder. Of course, after 4 attempts, the printer didnt work. Luckily, the help-desk people printed it for me, but it still took far too long. Even after all of this, Fabio was more than half an hour late on his lessons. When I finally got inside, all went very well. He is a fantastic teacher, and I really like how passionate he is when explaining things. He also instilled in me the need for "character" in my music; thinking about shape, contour, dynamics, articulation, sound, and timbre as much as pitches and rhythms. I thought I did that already, but he instructed me to focus on it intently, and I think my music will be more successful because of it. However, I thought I was recording the lesson, since I knew he would have all kinds of great things to say, but for some God-awful reason my phone decided it didn't want to record. Barry fail number 4? haha
Then I had live electronics rehearsal, which was whatever. Haha, you know how it is with that class. After class I came back home to fix my bike and get ready to go to my Dutch friend-girl’s house for dinner before our concert. The tire held air so I just figured my valve stem was lose or something. This lady’s house is quite cute, and exactly what I would expect in a typical Amsterdam house actually: very very steep stairs, low ceilings, many levels, above an Indian restaurant, all of that. Her parents are so nice and hospitable; I had a great time, even when we started talking about economics, gun violence, and politics. I think I did a great job of holding my tongue, or at least not putting my foot directly in my mouth, haha.
The concert was fun as well, all "modern" (within the last 30 years) Dutch music. I should probably write down the composers' names because otherwise I will never remember them, but I am too lazy to get up and look for the program, so I will put it on the blog tomorrow, haha.
After the concert we met Tristian, Duri, and some other CvA composer (so bad with names), and went to Litzeplien to hang. We chatted for a little bit, but my friend insisted on going home before midnight. When we got back to her house, at the very ideal setting on the canal out her front door, she told me that she really liked me...as a friend (how many times have you heard that crock?). She said she felt "too comfortable around me". Too comfortable to be more than friends? I feel like this isn't the first time this has happened, even though she is the first one to articulate it in this way. Maybe I am too comforting, too polite. Do I need to be more aggressive? More go-get-em? I dont freaking know. I kept pestering her that I may never see her again, and that we should try and hang out once more before I leave, but that was all before she said this. Not that I don't want to see her again, it is just not as awesome, haha. I really don't know why this keeps happening to me. Maybe I am too nice...haha I never ever thought I would be saying that. Oh. Freaking. Well.
It started with me coming outside to find my bike tire flat, mysteriously. I am not blaming anyone, of course, because if I were to think I was the victim of vandalism, that would only be out of sheer paranoia. But I did happen to chew a certain someone out for smoking weed in our room again, so maybe he was pissed and wanted to take revenge? Idk, but either way I didn't have time to fuss with it so I simply walked to school on my still kind of broken foot. Not fun.
Upon arriving at school, I needed to print some scores for my lesson with Fabio Nieder. Of course, after 4 attempts, the printer didnt work. Luckily, the help-desk people printed it for me, but it still took far too long. Even after all of this, Fabio was more than half an hour late on his lessons. When I finally got inside, all went very well. He is a fantastic teacher, and I really like how passionate he is when explaining things. He also instilled in me the need for "character" in my music; thinking about shape, contour, dynamics, articulation, sound, and timbre as much as pitches and rhythms. I thought I did that already, but he instructed me to focus on it intently, and I think my music will be more successful because of it. However, I thought I was recording the lesson, since I knew he would have all kinds of great things to say, but for some God-awful reason my phone decided it didn't want to record. Barry fail number 4? haha
Then I had live electronics rehearsal, which was whatever. Haha, you know how it is with that class. After class I came back home to fix my bike and get ready to go to my Dutch friend-girl’s house for dinner before our concert. The tire held air so I just figured my valve stem was lose or something. This lady’s house is quite cute, and exactly what I would expect in a typical Amsterdam house actually: very very steep stairs, low ceilings, many levels, above an Indian restaurant, all of that. Her parents are so nice and hospitable; I had a great time, even when we started talking about economics, gun violence, and politics. I think I did a great job of holding my tongue, or at least not putting my foot directly in my mouth, haha.
The concert was fun as well, all "modern" (within the last 30 years) Dutch music. I should probably write down the composers' names because otherwise I will never remember them, but I am too lazy to get up and look for the program, so I will put it on the blog tomorrow, haha.
After the concert we met Tristian, Duri, and some other CvA composer (so bad with names), and went to Litzeplien to hang. We chatted for a little bit, but my friend insisted on going home before midnight. When we got back to her house, at the very ideal setting on the canal out her front door, she told me that she really liked me...as a friend (how many times have you heard that crock?). She said she felt "too comfortable around me". Too comfortable to be more than friends? I feel like this isn't the first time this has happened, even though she is the first one to articulate it in this way. Maybe I am too comforting, too polite. Do I need to be more aggressive? More go-get-em? I dont freaking know. I kept pestering her that I may never see her again, and that we should try and hang out once more before I leave, but that was all before she said this. Not that I don't want to see her again, it is just not as awesome, haha. I really don't know why this keeps happening to me. Maybe I am too nice...haha I never ever thought I would be saying that. Oh. Freaking. Well.
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