On that note, I spoke with the student councilor at CvA today. We had a nice long talk about the usual: life, money, happiness, music, friends, family, etc. No new conclusions were really drawn, but it was good to talk to someone; someone new, who hasn't heard my story and doesn't know me. I guess in one regard we did make some progress: (it appeared to her that) I know what I want/need to do --- my mind is made up ---, I just need to stop worrying about the reactions or opinions of other people, and do what I know needs to be done. All of this talk about regretting this decision later, well I'm regretting not making SOME decision earlier. My decision to be indecisive has caused me much suffering, and it looks like I will be in school another year (at least) because of it.
On to happier topics: I wrote my first jazz song today! Very first. Never before. From start to finish. I'm not sure if I am too pleased with the final product just yet, but it is there. It does feel really good to actually have a finished product after one afternoon (as opposed to months without any signs of progression, as is usual with my writing). However, I more than made up for my productivity by practicing for only one half hour on set. Somehow I feel that I lost all of my recent progress on set, and on the eve of my second lesson, of course. So, it all comes out in the wash. Trying to stay positive. I'm a college student in Amsterdam. How can I be this mopy?!
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