Saturday, September 24th. Day 28

Today was another pretty relaxed Saturday in beautiful Amsterdam, complete with a trip to the Dappermarkt, practicing, writing, and cleaning. Despite my attempts to stay busy, I was "alone with my thoughts" as I say it, further distilling my recent internal (and external) debate to a boiling point. Why am I here? What am I doing with my life? Am I good enough to justify being here? Do I even want to be a musician? If not, what should I be spending my time on? Do I even enjoy what I'm doing here? Ok, so a little bit melodramatic, but nonetheless very telling. I suppose whatever the end result, or whatever I end up doing when I get back, I am here now, and I will do my best to enjoy it. Yes, I just said that. For some awful reason, I have to consciously try to enjoy my time, as a college student, in Amsterdam. I think I need to take a nice long walk to nowhere...