Saturday, October 8th (day 42) - Tuesday, October 11th (day 45)

Saturday, I went shopping. Well, not so much shopping as looking for a bag for my trip. It was much more difficult that I had planned to find a store that sold backpacks and luggage and stuff like that. However, I did finally end up buying a sweet North Face duffel back-pack. Happy birthday to me! Speaking of birthday, I also sent my dad's gift in the mail (which was way too expensive). I really think he is going to enjoy in Laguiole. Later on that night, some friends and I went on a failed adventure, only to end up in an Irish pub singing 90's pop hits with some locals. Classic.

Sunday started with brunch at a friends. Fresh made pannekoeken is a beautiful thing, let me tell you. Believe it or not, I think that is the only noteworthy thing I did all day!

Monday was my catch up day for being so inactive over the weekend. I wrote (or tried to write) some music, practiced drumset, and had live-electronics class. I have to admit, I am a little disappointed in the class, only because I had set up expectations for the class that are not coming true. I was really hoping to learn the programing/composition side of live electronic music, but this class is clearly focused on performance, which is fine, but I do not consider myself a performer in many aspects.

Today was loooong. Starting with my counseling appointment (or as I call it, a visit with my shrink), leading right into practice, music business class, straight into a lesson, and then to my arranging lesson. I have finally decided to seek the advise of a psychologist, seeing as the school councilor can only do so much for me. I anticipate that I may be referred to a psychiatrist for assessment and possible diagnoses of ADHD, however I am going to keep an open mind. Music business class was very interesting today, talking about marketing in music. Further proof that I am more suited for the business world, I was very engaged in the discussion of labor market trends and supply/demand principles of marketing. The rest of the class seemed to be falling asleep, while I took several pages of furious notes. My drum set lesson went well also, however it is quite exhausting to be nit-picked that much. I also mentioned to my drum teacher my problems with concentration and motivation, at which he advised me to seek out a book entitled "Effortless Mastery". I have heard many musicians mention this book, and I think it will be very helpful to read it. It was also encouraging to hear that my teacher, who is a veritable drumming god, has ben through several periods of his life where he felt burnt out and wanted to quit. However, he also expressed an early affinity for music and drumming, saying he always thought about drumming and couldn't wait to get home from school so he could play. I honestly can't say if I can recall ever feeling that way, at least about drumming. Maybe music in genearl. Or anything. It is rather frustrating, feeling so lost, adrift even, like I don't know my place. Or maybe I do, and I am afraid to admit it. I'm still not sure. I just can't say...